Sunday, August 01, 2004

Feeling downhearted and BLUE – again

Yea, it's a woman and it's bad! I just can't get through these fits and starts phases when the women I involve myself with play push-pull. You know, pull you inward toward the inner sanctum while, at the same time, pushing outward, far, far away.

So tonight I called my baby (I guess I can call her that ...) and she gives me a line about it being her old lover's birthday. "Believe me, I don't want to go but I have to make an appearance."

Sound familiar? If you're past the age of 25 it should, or you've never been in a relationship with a woman (that's my guess).

Anyway, I'm sitting here wrestling with the full knowledge that, even though she said she'd call me in an hour, she won't. And I've got to decide what's the right course of action. How long do I wait until I call her back? Do I wait an hour past her stated timeframe? Do I wait two hours? Do I just not call at all? Jeez, relationships are sometimes a pain in the ass!

She's spreading her wings because her teenage daughter is out of town and is about to move away from home, and it's causing her high anxiety. But I wish she'd just be up front with me instead of playing these goofy games, telling me she'll call me when she really hasn't any intention of doing so. It sucks!

And so it goes. I don't know what the future holds for this connection. I had hopes that we might go forward together but it's beginning to appear that that won't be an option. But who knows.

Love is a many splintered thing.


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