Saturday, March 22, 2014

Better to lie than to love

Sometimes it's better to live alone than love.
Sometimes it's better to lie than to love.
Sometimes it's better to love than to die.
Sometimes it's better to die than to love, or even lie.
And sometimes it's better to love than to live, lie, or even try.
A year has passed since  I last placed an entry into this blog, and it's been a long, cold year gone!
Living alone can grow dark and heavy in the heart.
But sometimes it's better to live alone than love.
Outside is the Texas night and the Texas sky, and the hard, dry ground that sails on the wind
and lands in my eyes.
Noses clog shut, and airways gasp dust, and hair flounces trails of particles from fields across the county.
Sometimes song is all I have to express what my heart feels, and sometimes song is sad.
But even sad song can be uplifting, as you well know, so I just let it be, though the tears press hard on my mind until I let them go.
D is a wonder who struggles with her desire to die. A wonder because she always hugs her soul around her and hold tight to life, and finds another sunset in her eyes.
Life and living it can be painful and hard, and often not worth a damn!
But it's not for me to decide, and it's not for you to decide, and it's not for some judge, or priest, or minister or shaman to decide.
I find it's enough to accept the gift of breath and sight, and touch and sound, and let the whole thing ride.
Is God real? Is God aware of my little life, and my little dreams, and my little hurts that seem so selfish when viewed in comparison to so many other suffering people in this world?
Sleep is becoming a stranger to me, and I miss sleep's calming presence in my life.
My eyes are open more than they are closed, far more than they are closed, and my mind keeps churning out ribbons of visions and tales that dance in the shadows of the firelight.
So I'll be back again - maybe in a year or two. We'll see.
Sometimes it's better to listen than speak.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Blizzard! Really?

Now here's something one doesn't typically see in the local weather forecast: "blizzard" intoned in serious tone and aspect by local forecasters. The following is derived from the NWS Web site.

Issued by The National Weather Service
Lubbock, TX

Sun, Feb 24, 2013, 11:00 PM CST

Local Radar Map

Updated Feb 25, 2013, 12:05am CST

... BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 PM CST MONDAY...
* TIMING... SNOW ACROSS THE FAR NORTHWEST SOUTH PLAINS AND EXTREME SOUTHWESTERN TEXAS PANHANDLE TONIGHT... WILL SPREAD EAST THROUGH MOST OF THE DAY TOMORROW. SNOW SHOULD END ACROSS THE EASTERN ROLLING PLAINS AND EXTREME SOUTHEASTERN TEXAS PANHANDLE TOMORROW EVENING.
* SNOW TOTALS... THREE TO SIX INCHES WITH LOCALLY HIGHER AMOUNTS.
Lubbock is not known for deep snowfalls or, for that matter, winter storm warnings. In the 18 years I've lived here, I can count on one hand the number of times we've had memorable snowfall events - precisely 2.
And both of those storms were 1-day affairs; a quick dumping of 6-to-13 inches of snow, then a rapid return of sunlight that melted the snow within a couple of hours, leaving the roads nearly dry and free of the white blanket before sunset.
So believe me when I tell you that for Lubbockites to hear the word "blizzard" in their weather forecast is reason for consternation, nervous jokes, apprehensive musings and, of course, high hopes for every grammar school kid in the city.
I'm beginning to understand the reason that South Plains folk spent long hours discussing weather back in the 1930s, '40s and '50s. It was the uniting influence for every soul who has dwelled on the empty, wind-swept lands.
Plus, the economic engine that still drives the region is cotton and other types of agriculture, so weather is a determining factor for family life, in practical and esoteric terms.
Outside, pebbles of frozen precipitation are coating the ground and streets at the moment.I wonder if actual snow will tumble from the heavens?
Like most men/boys, I dream of dancing and falling freely into deep piles of soft, fluffy snow - though it's highly unlikely that we'll get that kind of precipitation. More likely we'll be coated in ice and freezing rain, as is typical of the region, particularly of late.
Yawn.
Monday is upon me, and work looms large even as the clock ticks toward 2 a.m. I've learned to get by on four hours or less of sleep, though some days are better than others when it comes to attentiveness and focus.
I count my blessings if I'm able to get to sleep by 4 a.m., but whether I do or don't, the alarm goes off at 7 a.m., regardless.
If we do, in fact, experience a blizzard with 6-inch snowfall, I expect (read, "hope") that the university and, thus, my department, will halt activity today in the name of safety, which will be a welcome respite from what I anticipate will be a thoroughly unpleasant Monday - for reasons that shall remain confidential here.
So "come on winter storm. Show me what you've got! Please, let's see some 'real' snow blanket the South Plains, along with blizzard conditions, and even dangerously cold wind chill levels!"
Thus and so, goodnight.


Friday, February 22, 2013

GOP hitched its wagon to a falling star

If one thing is true in this world, it's that the chickens come home to roost. Another simple truth is, you reap what you sow, and it appears that the Grand Old Republican Party is reaping its just rewards for being two-faced, shallow, simplistic, overly impulsive, and phony. In short, the GOP is in disarray because it hitched its wagon, its hopes for future election wins, to a group of WASPs who want to turn back the clock and pretend it's 1950. 
The so-called Conservative Party is at odds with the grassroots Tea Party because, in fact, the Tea Party is living in a fantasy world where Jesus is king, government is soiled linen, and bootstrap mentality - in both inferences, the whip your behind meaning and the "pull-up by" meaning - is noxious to the majority of Americans who have IQs above 65.
So now, having dropped their drawers for this minority grassroots bunch of fantasists who want to tear down the wall between church and state and institute the same religiously-associated government enjoyed so much by our bretheren in the Middle East - ever heard of Sharia (sp?) law - so now the GOP is trying to quietly slink out the back window while the Tea Party makes breakfast.
Sorry folks. When you join a group for any reason other than genuine, you're bound to get things out of joint and twisted. The Republican Party is not the Tea Party, nor was it ever (I don't know where the chant "We want our country back" came from, but I've often wondered, "What country is that?"
I live in America, where an egalitarian republic is the reigning form of government, and where democracy dictates that majority rules, but the minority has a voice. Amen.
The GOP lost track of the majority will, and has gone so far down that foggy Tea Party road that it's hard-pressed to regain a footing in political reality, not to mention everyday reality for most of us. 
C'est la vie!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Stumbling past Armageddon ...


Well, Dec. 21 came and went, as uneventful a day as I've seen in 62 years.
So the doomsayers proved themselves wrong again, true to the rich history of multiple inaccurate prophecies predicting the "end of the world."
C'est la vie." heheheheheh.
Thus, the more mundane issues that our nation faces move the front of the line, per usual, and we citizens of America have our front row seats to the Bull@*$! Bowl that our Congress has become.
Our politicians (we Americans), are being foolish, short-sighted and reckless with our middle-class to poor lives, and we should not tolerate any more of the nonsense they shovel under the guise of political representation, any more than we tolerate a manufacturer of (put any product here) who brags, "ours is the best by far," or "we make a perfectly safe product."
Specious, empty-headed lies are the currency that U.S. politicians trade like baseball cards. And the result is, the economy tanks, the people wind up homeless and hungry and half crazed, and our future grows dimmer by the hour.
It seems to me that it's upside-down and has been for the past two decades.Republicans and Democrats chase political power for its own sake, while ignoring real problems that require a political solution.
If the crew in D.C. can't come up with a compromise bill to forestall or even eliminate the "fiscal cliff" scenario, then they all should be fired immediately!!!
The only problem is, the party bosses want to make hay at the expense of the other party, and the members (the elected members) dance to the tune of the bureaucrats who run the party machines.
We cannot allow the bickering between our two major parties to put our government into free fall, or to sideline the business of the people for the foreseeable future because of an ideological dogma that has nothing to do with reality.
Reality - people are hungry, people are homeless, people are struggling to make ends meet, and all the while, the ultra rich get a pass on everything - from taxes to murder.
Why not increase the federal tax on the ultra-rich by a few percentage points (they CAN afford it) if it will strengthen our government? It most certainly will NOT damage our fiscal bottom line.
The GOP likes to forget that the only reason it exists is to do participate in our political system (governmental agencies) and, when elected, to conduct the business of the people, NOT to line the pockets of wealthy constituents in the name of cronyism, payback or favoritism. It's wrong, it's immoral and it's a false argument that deserves an energetic kick in the the butt.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Goons!

It's been one of those days when I'm so out of sorts that I'm fighting with myself to quiet the negativity that's trying to rule the scattered conversation in my head!
Man, I'm so cranky and tired and achy and sore and people are being complete numbskulls (well, a few people) so it was all I could do not to SCREAM in a few faces. I do not suffer fools lightly. So what? Who cares?
I've prayed to the invisible one though He/She doesn't seem to hear me, but Who, I amuse myself with by believing He/She is a benevolent, all-powerful god who has an eye on my little life, when it seems pretty clear to me that the opposite is true.
Aaarrgh! I'm sick of Aaron Rogers picking apart the Chicago Bears while Bears quarterback, Shiftless Dipsquat Stumble-Slug (whatever) mugs for the TV cameras, as if to say "hell, we suck, and I know it."
IRRITATING!!!
He appears to be planning the next 5 years of golfing while his teammates are getting their guts kicked out! NOT Classy!
Far as the goons who murdered the U.S. ambassador in Libya on Tuesday, I'm sure Mr. Stevens' siblings, parents, children, and loved ones, all understand the reason why he had to die. In order to satisfy the bloodthirsty madness that seems to rule in the Middle East, the blood of the infidel (any old infidel will do) must be spilled.
Besides, he was an American and, clearly had a hand in the American plot to denigrate the Prophet and allow the vile, terrible, poisonous video to appear on Twitter/Facebook/Blather.com, et al. You Blockheaded chumbuckets. My invisible, non-existent god is going to tickle your innards someday soon, you schmucks!
I hope the U.S. pulls all funding, all charitable donations and all support of any kind from every Middle East nation that supports Islamists jihad.
The storming of the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, that left Stevens and three other embassy staff members murdered, goes into the book of life.
Do us all a favor and find a vast, bleak desert to set up camp and begin slaughtering each other to your hearts' content.
Any leader who is so insecure that he murders those who criticizes him, well, that guy is a LOSER!!! And his followers are BIGGER LOSERS!!!
One who knows that life is a gift, and that the universe is in harmony with the Creator who loves all peoples, even infidels?
NO, your leaders seem more like paranoid mafia dons. You know the type: guys who whack their own children if they suspect the kids of making fun of Dad's hairdo behind his back!
Jeez, what a mess.
Those who bury their heads in the sand, will find themselves up to their necks in sand - not much more.
Too many bloodthirsty numbskulls represent Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Syria, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and other Mid-East countries.
Too often, the world sees a bunch of thugs behaving like craven 8-year-old children who revel in meanness, and who find torturing innocent creatures fun!
So you go your way, please, and I'll go mine, OK.
 I won't visit your dusty, hellish countries, and I pray you won't visit mine
You can have your dogma - 24/7, 365. Just don't ask me to join you at the corner mosque.

Sunday, July 08, 2012

Time passes always forward

Not much to say or do about the way life unfolds. It's too late to turn the clock backward. It's too late to rearrange behavior that's long past done.
But now it's summertime and windy and hot, and the South Plains appear both glorious and dangerous.
Our neighbor has dissolved into a dream of illusion brought about by the ravages of age and dementia, and it's sad. His wife, also elderly, can be seen tending her roses in the front yard, while the weeds grow wildly across the lawn. She yearns to have him home, but she's afraid of his mercurial behavior as his personality devolves to an unrecognizable tapestry beneath a haze of fantasy and nightmare, from which he has no escape. 
Death, I'm sure, cannot be far from its visit to him, and to her. My love will be saddened and cry when it occurs. But there is no mercy when death comes knocking. Only the secure knowledge that one day, your time will come. One can only hope to have a thread of dignity remaining when that dark-cowled figure with the heartless grin reaches out to grip one's heart, and stop this lifetime's clock.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Wow! I just watched the best World Series game I've ever seen! That includes the Oakland A's win with Reggie Jackson's three home-runs, and all the previous series games since 1966. The Texas Rangers and the St. Louis Cardinals battled into extra innings, with Texas up three games to two at the start of the sixth game of the World Series. And for 8-and-one-half innings it looked like Texas would put the series away, chalking up runs each time the Cardinals threatened to claim the lead. The Cardinals players looked slow, sloppy and unsure, while the Texans, for the most part, looked BIG, and confident and their pitching was much crisper than the Cards'.
But both teams managed to accumulate three errors apiece, and at times it looked like rookie baseball out there.
Texas built a 7-4 lead in the seventh on back-to-back home-runs by Adrian Beltre and Nelson Cruz, and Ian Kinsler added an RBI single.
Texas had silenced the noisy Busch Stadium crowd with a two-run lead going into the ninth, when the Red Birds, in typical Tony La Russa fashion, clawed out a two-run inning to tie the game, 7-7.
With two outs and two strikes on batter David Freese, Texas was one strike away from winning the series. But Freese slapped an improbable triple to right field and knotted the game up.
In the top of the 10th, Texas' Josh Hamilton crushed a two-run homer to put the Rangers up again, 9-7. And, again, it looked bleak for the Cards.
But in the bottom of the 10th, Lance Berkman slapped a 3-2, two-out pitch to the fence, a two RBI single that tied the game a second time.
The top of the 11th saw the Texans finally go cold for an inning and retire, still tied with St. Louis.
Then, in the bottom of the 11th, Freese walked to the plate, dug in, and smacked a solo home-run to straightaway center field to win it, 10-9.
Twice the Cardinals looked like they would lose by two, and twice they came back to tie the game. Finally, Freese's homerun nailed it down for the Cards.

And there was a lot of brinksmanship going on in the Busch Stadium dugouts, with both coaches shuffling players in and out of the lineup, angling for an edge.  
The first seeming death-knell for the Cardinals came in the seventh, when Texas' Adrian Beltre and Nelson Cruz hit back-to-back homeruns, putting Texas up 6-4. Texas scored another run in the inning, putting them up 7-4 by the time the eighth inning rolled around.
But then La Russa replaced the non-hitting, error-prone outfielder Matt Holliday with Allen Craig in the eighth, and Craig promptly homered to cut the Texas lead to 7-5. 
Later, down by two runs in the ninth, the Cards tied it up. And they did it again in the 10th, after Hamilton's soul-sucking homerun. Amazing!

The drama, the excitement, the electricity in the stadium literally flooded out of the TV set. I'd bet that the energy was palpable across the world for anyone who listened to or watched the game. That's one I'm glad I allowed myself the time to watch! Great ballgame, just great! Hollywood couldn't write an ending as unaccountably magical as that! Wow!
And so, World Series game 7 continues tomorrow. It might be interesting.