Sunday, December 21, 2003

Something twisted this way comes

Believe it or not the United States Congress passed a bill titled "The Invasion of Holland Act," or something to that affect. Suffice it to say that the gist of the bill is this: It allows us, with impunity and high moral standing, to militarily attack Holland - home of The Hague – the world court, if you will – if any U.S. military personnel should find themselves indicted and put on trial by that august body.

Oh yea! Bush is playing with a full deck!??? What a ridiculous and dark proposal, and what a sad state of affairs this nation is embroiled in because of the ill-conceived course this president has charted for us all. What a bloody wanker!

I can see the parachutes popping open as the troop transport planes fly low over the soggy, beflowered countryside of Holland. I can see the hard-bitten troops mowing down a few hundred cows and the puzzled, terrified farmer or three as theiy assault the dykes and windmills on their great and glorious march to The Hague. The mission: to free an unjustly imprisoned brother (or sister) in arms.

And why did Congress craft such a bill? Well, because Bush, in his infinite idiocy, deemed an International Court a baaaad thing.

Now it's not that The Hague, in its present iteration, is offensive to the Bushmeister. No. It's that the new International Court created by some 70-plus nations to address the plight of tortured, ill-treated peoples anywhere in the world who have the misfortune to find themselves living under the rule of despots and bloodthirsty dictators. The Hague, the community of world nations has determined, acts too slowly and within too limited a scope to provide justice for a great many of the downtrodden in this world. So this new court, already peopled with some 90 judges and scores of lawyers from dozens of countries, was created to try and provide a measure of protection for the helpless and vunerable. But Bush sees this court as a threat to U.S. (read "his") international policies and he fears that American soldiers accused of commiting atrocities could find themselves humiliated and subjected to the will of other world citizens who, of course, would not have the best interest of our soldiers at heart.

Now Clinton refused to sign the agreement that would have included the U.S. in the court's charter, but Clinton wished the venture well and went no further.

Now we have Herr Bush, flush with the fresh bloodletting in Iraq and Afghanistan and plagued with dark thoughts of terrorists hiding behind every bush and curtain, actually taking a militant stand AGAINST justice meted out by this international body.

I wonder how Holland, and the rest of Europe must perceive the administration and its policies? Are we fast becoming the rogue nation of the world, flexing our military might anytime the president has a paranoid moment?

Now I'm sure that Bush supporters (worshippers, really) would say, in defense of this absurd law - LAW! - that we would never really attack Holland, and that it's only prudent for our revered and glorious Bushorama to raise high the wall of protection 'round our military, given the horrid conditions created by that awful bin Laden guy, just in case one of OUR BOYS (or girls) might be unjustly accused of wanton killing or maiming of innocent non-combatants.

Sorry folks, but if you're blindly following the Bush parade you're idiots. Not only are you idiots, but you're part of, by extension, the apparatus of terrorism, ya chowder head!

So gird your girdles boys and girls, and get our your wooden boots. It's time to eliminate that hornets nest of tulip-growing scum and celebrate yet another expansion of FREEDOM a la America once again!

And for any nation that mistakenly thinks it has actual sovereignty, lest ye wander off the path of Bush-approved righteousness hear these words: Take two spoonfuls of American liberty, one cup of American freedom, and three capsules of American morality every day OR WE'LL KILL YOU!